“Early observations indicate it may well be the single most destructive animal we’ve yet encountered,” said Dr. Trey DeLightly, a scientist at the University of Toronto, and team leader of the group […]
Ford Makes Up For Drastic Cuts To Education By Offering Free After-School Tequila Shots
PARTY TOWN – In a budget that will be remembered for Doug Ford’s making good on the key promise he made to the voters of Ontario during last year’s campaign to not […]
Gang Of Ontario Teachers Caught In Nefarious Plot To Give Kids The Best Possible Education
In what is already being described by Premier Doug Ford as “the darkest day in the long history of the great fiefdom of Ontario,” police today revealed that they have discovered a […]
Ontario PCs Announce Overhaul Of Highway Traffic Act To Prioritize Cars By Value
Following the resounding success of their defunding the Ontario College of Midwives, programs for at-risk youths, and firemen giving out stickers to excited kids (the last measure saving a staggering $14 province-wide) […]
Doug Ford Last Seen Speeding Towards Oshawa With An “Open For Business” Sign
As the terrible news that General Motors intends to close all operations at their longstanding Oshawa plant broke, on a mild but dreary Sunday afternoon, Ontario Premier Doug Ford – who campaigned […]
1950’s Political Ideology Discovered Fully Preserved In Halifax Convention Centre
As Dee Fynn – a baker at the Halifax Convention Centre – tells it, he was just looking for somewhere quiet to make a quick phone call on his midday break, when […]
Doug Ford Says If People Want Basic Income They Should Go Out And Inherit It Like He Did
As Ontario took yet another step back in time – to a simpler era where serfs knew their place, as well as how much of their labour was owed in dues, and […]