Researchers at the University of Unceded Territory say they have made a discovery that could turn a deeply nuanced world on its binary head: an entirely new type of patriotism. One in […]
***The following article contains graphic descriptions of government officials purchasing food. Reader discretion is advised.*** In what many are already calling the darkest moment in Canadian history, late last night Prime Minister […]
As the news that Megan Markle and Prince Harry intend to voluntarily give up some people’s dreams (being royals) to live everyone’s dream (being Canadian) began to spread, a particularly noxious noise […]
Brace yourselves Canada. Tim Hortons – famous for selling litres of hot asswater, boxes of stale sugar pucks, and soups that are old enough to vote (all brought to you by an […]
“The Canadians are laughing at us, I repeat, the Canadians are laughing at us,” came the voice over the PA system at a top secret American base, as the US scrambled to contain […]
Following a leak earlier this week of the next Scottish referendum question (“Should we not just fuck right off with Iceland, Greenland, and Canada, and form an alliance of The Fecking Sane? Aye […]
Immediately following a meeting with climate activist Greta Thunberg on the periphery of the Montreal Climate March, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau made a bold, unexpected, but notably on-brand announcement. “In honour […]
CHURONNO – As they took to madly celebrating their first basketball championship, the remote northern nation of Canada (pronounced KAAN-AH-DAH) has immediately made one thing absolutely clear: This time, they are not […]
I’ve posted video updates on Facebook before, but never on here. So for those of you not on that medium, here’s a look at the shed as I wrap things up in […]
“Early observations indicate it may well be the single most destructive animal we’ve yet encountered,” said Dr. Trey DeLightly, a scientist at the University of Toronto, and team leader of the group […]
The Out And Abouter 