“It just felt like…I don’t know man…like maybe if I could find the perfect nut, one that was held by children in the 60’s – maybe as they watched Neil […]
Hipster Squirrel Starting To Regret Spending All His Time Searching For A Vintage Nut
In Moving Speech, US President Tells Americans They Have Nothing To Fear Except Canada Itself
In a speech that is already being hailed as a turning point in the LOLed War between the United States and Canada, Donald Trump today delivered a somber reminder to Americans that […]
Conservatives Surprisingly Less Keen To Discuss The Half Of All Canadians Who Support Free University
Ignoring their own recently updated requirements for holding a national debate on a subject (any issue which polls indicate at least half of all Canadians feel strongly about – the country has […]
Andrew Scheer Spends Most Of Day Telling Parliament About The Time HE Went To London
A look of panic passed through the House of Commons today, as Andrew Scheer took advantage of Prime Minister’s Trudeau’s absence – as the PM attends a meeting of Commonwealth leaders in […]
Worried Name Not Intimidating Enough, Rocky Mountains Rebrand As The Fearsome Fuck Offs
“It just feels like lately every Tom, Dick, and Notley thinks they can just throw down a pipeline, or highway, or information centre wherever they damn well please,” says Mt. Columbia, […]
NAFTA Talks Halted In 8th Round After Headbutt From Chrystia Freeland Opens Cut Over Lighthizer’s Eye
Billed as the Rumble Because Of The Grumble, the greatest meeting of North American heavyweight trade titans since Mulroney Vs. Bush in the early 90’s, was halted in the 8th round last […]
Canada Apologizes To Indigenous Peoples For Racist Reactions To Yesterday’s Apology
For the second time in as many days, Canada’s Prime Minister rose in parliament to offer an apology for a historic wrong against the Indigenous peoples of this land – this one […]
World Reels As It Considers The Possibility Trump May Just Be Making Shit Up
In a shocking turn of events, the world is today grappling with a frightening and previously unthinkable possibility: that Donald Trump is completely fucking winging it; and may even have lied at some […]
‘Universe Such A Limited Place’ Sighs Bill Morneau Happily As He Takes In The Gaps In The Night Sky
“Y’know, most people fixate on the stars, and the infinite scale of the universe when they stare up at the night sky,” says federal Finance Minister, Bill Morneau, out for a late […]
Immigrants Continue To Ruin Canada With Gold In The Men’s 10,000m Speedskating
The fabric of Canada continued to unravel yesterday, as a man wearing a head covering delivered an astounding performance in Pyeongchang to bring the gold medal back to a nation of immigrants […]
The Out And Abouter 