Once again using his far-reaching pulpit as a premier Canadian pundit to amplify the voices of society’s least heard, on Friday Rex Murphy raised an important point in the ongoing debate about the appropriateness of black Americans asking to not be summarily shot by police officers: Don Cherry is always right.
“I took a good hard look at what is going on down there in the United States,” said Murphy, shortly after publishing an opinion-editorial in the National Post on the subject, “At these athletes taking a stand, or kneeling as it were, for a cause that cuts so deeply into the fabric of their lives that they are willing to risk their careers to make a statement. And it was immediately apparent to me that the person being underrepresented in all of this was Don Cherry.”
In his column on the controversial subject – in which he uses the first four paragraphs to remind Canadians that Cherry is a national treasure, and the only thing stopping him from receiving an Order of Canada is gross prejudice against those who mix plaid and paisley – Murphy is quick to point out what this debate is so subtly lacking:
“We need more old white guy.”
Canadians from coast to coast were unabashed in their gratitude that one exhibit of the Canadian media dinosaur museum was still limber enough to defend the walking ‘Lost In Time’ diorama that is Don Cherry.
“Every time I read Rex Murphy’s opinion pieces I think to myself: there is a man with his finger on the pulse. Just whose pulse it is, and whether that person has ever read a newspaper not run by Conrad Black, are questions I would love Mr. Murphy to address some day, to be sure. But for now I’m just glad he’s off the radio.”
As news of Murphy’s views filtered south of the border, many NFLers took time out of their busy pre-game routines to address T-Rex’s timely takedown of their protest.
“You know, as usual Rex has a real point there,” said Marshawn Lynch, running back for the Oakland Raiders, “Don Cherry really is the polar star of common sense. I hadn’t even thought about Tim Tebow in all of this, getting made fun of for kneeling down to pray. I have been so selfish, worrying about police brutality, systemic racism, and the mass incarceration of black people in this country for profit. Thank God Mr. Murphy waded in to restore some sense in this debate. You guys better hang on to him tightly up there, or we’ll be stealing the old codger and bringing him down here to solve all our problems.”