Trump Again Threatens To Punish An Entire Nation To Get To One Man

trumpulear warfare

President Trump, seen here repeatedly shooting his fingers in the air

Speaking to the United Nations assembly for the first time today, Donald Trump made it clear that if Kim Jong-un does not stop threatening to use nuclear warfare to get what he wants, Trump would use nuclear warfare to get what he wants.

“Rocket Man needs to know that we will totally destroy the entire nation of North Korea, if that’s what it takes to stop him,” said Trump, whom many at the UN have taken to privately calling ‘Russia’s Pocket Man.’ “And this is not an idle threat. I’ve destroyed countries before to settle a score. Just ask Obama.” 

Reactions to the speech were decidedly mixed, with Israel’s Benjamin Netanyahu attempting to start a Mexican wave – with predictable results – while the rest of the assembled world leaders looked in different directions and wondered what life would have been like if they hadn’t gotten into politics. 

Afterwards, while recapping his speech for reporters, Trump summarized his United Nations ‘Divided nations’ address (as it has already been dubbed) thusly: 

“Kim Wrong ‘un needs to know you don’t mess with Donald Trump. He’s a leader who has lied to his people, and who is holding his citizens ransom in a dangerous, ego-driven game that can have no possible positive outcome. And, as my recent history shows, I can do that better than him. I’ve done it before. I will do it again. Just give me one slim reason to make the DPRK great again.” 

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