GOP Looks Longingly At John McCain, Whispers, “Maybe In Another Life, Senator”

McCainHandsomeDevilCatching John McCain’s eye across the busy news cycle, the Republican party was today seen openly wondering what might have been if John McCain had again run for president, and defeated Donald Trump so bigly that Russia never showed its face around them parts again. 

Sashaying across their Twitter feeds to stand beside the popular also-ran from 2008, Republicans were unabashed in their admiration for a man who survived being shot down in Vietnam, and then insulted about his subsequent capture and internment by a draft-dodging candidate who would go on to approach the presidential mantle as he does hurricanes, by asking: ‘how big are the crowds,’ and, ‘what’s in it for me?’

“Oh John,” the Grand Old Party was heard to murmur under her breath as she looked away, and then back again at the dashing Senator from Arizona, standing there all upright and non-discriminatorily, as he issued forth on the subject of not being Donald Trump’s congressional bitch. “What the hell were we thinking?”


Categories: Politics

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