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Ontario To Test Revolutionary Program In Which Survivors Of Sexual Assault Are Treated As: Survivors Of Sexual Assault

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“It will be a program which will recognize that survivors of sexual assault do not generally make detailed reports of their assaults in the immediate aftermath as they are busy trying to deal with the fact they have been sexually assaulted.” Says Cynthia Forrest, director of the Foundation For Being Fucking Reasonable, the survivors’ rights branch of the ‘Because It’s 2015’ Centre.

“It will be a program that will allow these survivors to report the crime without being themselves put on trial. A program that treats the survivors as survivors and does not add further ignominy to what for many has already been the worse thing to ever happen to them, and that was before they started reliving it in excruciating detail only to then be told ‘sorry, you’re a bad survivor. Maybe next time take better notes.'”

Scheduled to commence sometime this generation, and barring that hopefully before the close of the century, initially the program will just be a pilot.

“Because we have to protect the accused here people.” Says Claudette Hedwynned, spokesperson for the Defence of Defence Lawyers of Ontario Association (DDLOA). “We have to assume the accused is innocent, and equally, that the accuser is lying and likely suffering from a hitherto undiagnosed psychosis driving them to create a personal shit-storm that will ruin their lives in as public a manner as possible. This is the way our justice system works. Hello.”

“Yeah. I think that speaks for itself. No further comment there really,” says Forrest, reached for follow up on Hedwynned’s comments, “other than this is what we’re up against.”

The program the FBFR are hoping to commence sometime during 2-3 dogs’ lifespans, will focus mainly on a single revolutionary concept. “We’re going to treat the survivors,” here Forrest pauses to let those gathered to catch up, “as though they are survivors of a crime. Not forensics specialists possessing a degree in criminal defence law, a photographic memory, the situational awareness of Rambo, and an immaculate personal history as viewed through the prism of all major religions both historic and current.”

She adds that the success of the project, the first of its kind in North America, may hinge on a cultural shift in which people who have suffered trauma are not expected to act like suddenly more organized and logical versions of themselves, but perhaps as slightly less than combobulated. “Dare I say, like someone who has suffered a violent assault?”

While still in the planning stages, there are those already asking if this isn’t just being done out of jealousy, or because they were scorned by someone, or bored, or other indiscernibly dark motives.

“Jealousy? I don’t really understand what I would be jealous of here, and no, we weren’t scorned. Those seem like strange statements,” says a bemused looking Forrest. “But yes, I do have something against the current arrangements for the treatment of survivors of sexual assault. My suggestion would be that if that worries you, don’t commit a sexual assault.”15365521_s

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